Obessing over a Problem - Maybe a sign of Depression

I was extremely busy for the last couple of weeks as I have been involved in helping a family in crisis.

We have known this couple with two boys and they have been struggling with some marital problems for sometime.  Two  Saturdays ago, the husband fell prey to a phone scam and about a thousand dollars were stolen from the couple's account. When the wife asked the husband what happened, he did not explain to her and she went berserk over this.

The incident triggered a full blown depression in the wife and she was not herself at all.  She resorted to attempting suicide as she saw no hope in this marriage. The police was called and she was hospitalized for a few days. The doctors made sure that she was stable emotionally before they released her to a relative's home. Because this couple has two children, therefore Children Aids have been notified and are involved.

There were  a culmination of many things that her husband did which frustrated this lady. But one thing that annoyed his wife most has been his obsession of asking his wife and children eating healthy food and drinking milk at every meal.

 According to Jan Wong, a well known Canadian journalist ( former Beijng Bureau Chief for Globe and Mail ) and author of "Red China Blues",  recently published " Out of the Blue" about her depression illness noted the following:

" I was in the grip of of a ruminative cycle..... Ruminate from the Latin for chew again describe the way cattle chew, swallow, regurgitate and re chew their food. In psychiatric terms, rumination means obsessing about a problem, therby reinforcing and prolonging the negative mood. Ruminating is the thought process that defines depression....."

Aha! This explains why this lady was constantly complaining about her husband's concerns about eating healthy food. She has been complaining to us and obsessing over this problem for the past few years and a couple of Saturdays ago, a particular incident was the last straw on the camel's back plunged her into a serious depression.

Reading "Out of Blue" has given me some basic and very useful background information about depression. Instead of being bored and at times annoyed by someone's chronic complaints on the same subject, I may look at that person differently wondering if this person might be going through a rough time or possibly exhibiting one of the symptoms of depression. This lady appears to be a cheerful person but has in fact been on medication for depression for a little while. Other than ruminating about her annoyance over her husband's healthy food concern, I would have never guessed that she was a patient with a mental illness.

I need to learn more about mental illness so that I can understand more about it and recognize it so that I can find help for friends and family members possibly dealing with depression alone and secretly.

R.T.
Toronto