Wednesday 24 August 2022

Being There for My Mom - on Palliative Care - August 10, 2022

August 10, 2022 

 My brother, Dave, drove from Ottawa to visit my mom at the long term care home for the past two days while Marg come the week before. Both of them stayed at our house.

 

They went back today to their home towns. My out of town siblings’ presence in Toronto gave the three of us, who are caregivers of Mom, some relief from our visitation schedules with mom. 









Together with my husband and my two other siblings, living in Toronto, we have been visiting Mom twice a day, for lunch and dinner, as much as possible, seven days a week to look after her during her mealtimes.






 Mom is in a lot of pain now. Tylenol used to give her some relief from pain, not any more. Since last week, we gave permission for Mom to have Morphine to be administered orally instead of Tylenol. 

After meeting with the long term care and palliative staff a couple of weeks ago, the family and the medical team have decided that our care goal for Mom now is to make her as comfortable as possible.

 

I came in today around 4pm for the dinner shift to look after Mom who was sleeping deeply under the influence of the medication, I supposed. 

I was shocked to see the change in her physical appearance.

Mom looked so pale laying in bed with the oxygen tube in her nostrils. Because the out of town siblings were here for the past dew days, I have not seen Mom for two days. But the change was significant. I am sitting beside her quietly waiting for her to awake for dinner which will be brought in to the room and I will feed her from her bed.

Mom used to take her meals in the dining room with other residents. 












This no longer can happen as lifting her from her bed to the wheelchair is too painful for her.






Even a few weeks ago, she was trying hard to eat herself.









She is thin, lost a lot of weight, but her body is retaining fluid making her skin buff up. Last time I was here my gentle touch left an impression on her arm even though I only touch her for a few seconds.

Mom ate very little for dinner, hardly anything. I worried.

R.T.
Stouffville Long Term Care Home

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