"Has God Abandoned Me?" A Frequently Asked Question

Tyndale Seminary, Toronto - Where I currently am enrolled n a course

 One of my goals of studying at the seminary is learning to be close to God and developing my spiritual growth.  I was delighted to have been assigned a spiritual director last term. I never talked to a counselor or a spiritual director before in my life prior to meeting my spiritual director.

One of the rooms where our meetings tool place

The very first time I met and talked to my spiritual director was on the Tyndale Seminary campus, and I cried my eyes out throughout our entire first two meetings.  I found the meetings with my spiritual director helpful and looked forward to them with much anticipation each time. My spiritual director and I discussed many things and dealt with a number of issues over the past few months.

The items on the book shelf create a calming effect in the meeting room 

The first big burden I shared with my spiritual director was regarding my loved ones’ salvation. I have been praying for some special needs for my family and my non-believing family members and those who have strayed away from believing in Jesus for years. However, God does not seem to answer me, nor seems to help bring my prodigal sons and other family members back into His kingdom. Not only did my spiritual director and I pray for my family members’ eternal salvation, but she also shared her own personal experience with me.

Some questions I have asked myself are, “Has God abandoned me? Should I continue to pray and bother Him with my requests?”  From time to time, I would consider the thought of not praying for the same thing. However, I was comforted and encouraged by my spiritual director’s personal sharing, as well as what Richard Foster said in his book:

When we are buffeted by the silence of God is to beat upon the cloud of unknowing…. We pray, we listen, we worship, we carry out the duty of the present moment. What we learned to do in the light of God’s love, we also do in the dark of God’s absence. We ask and continue to ask even though there is no answer. We seek and continue to seek even though we do not find. We knock and continue to knock even though the door remains shut (Foster, 1992, 23).

What a great confirmation that was! That is exactly what I have been doing for the past twenty years!  I will not give up and I will continue to pray, seek and knock because “it is this constant, longing love that produces a firmness of life orientation in us. We love God more than the gifts God brings” (Foster, 1992, 24).

 Alleluia! I will serve God in good or bad times!

R.T.
Toronto