A Joyous Family Occasion

The Bride's Colourful Wedding Bouquet

Mike and Danielle have been together since their senior years at university.

They finally decided to tie their knots last Saturday!

York Civic Centre on Eglinton Ave.. Toronto

They wanted a simple civic wedding ceremony at one of the Toronto civic centres and a traditional banquet in the evening to celebrate with friends and families.

It was supposed to be a rainy day today. It did rain a bit in the morning but it stopped by the time we got to the York Civic Centre at 2700 Eglinton Ave West, Mississauga.

The Wedding Chamber at York Civic Centre

 The Wedding Chapel, located on
 the main floor of the York Civic Centre building, is much bigger than I expected. It is a sunny place furnished with modern white chairs accommodating about twenty plus people comfortably. Large pots of lush plants lined one side of the room by the windows.

The Wedding Chamber I was at before in downtown Toronto was small and dark  This one on the west end of Toronto is spacious, with a lot of natural light streaming into the chamber from the floor to ceiling windows.


Micheal's parents and I got there before everyone else and chatted with the lady who would officiate the wedding ceremony. She was a wedding planner before;  she went through some training to get her license which allows her to officiate wedding ceremonies in Ontario.

The Bride and Her Sister

The wedding ceremony was supposed to be at 2:00p.m. but Micheal and Danielle were held up in traffic and were a little late.

 While we were waiting for the new couple, another couple was waiting for their 2:00p.m. wedding ceremony as well. We just hope that the wedding chamber was not double booked.

The radiant bride

The bride looking radiant and beautiful in her gorgeous purple flowing long dress was escorted by her sister while Philip stood in as his the best man.




The wedding ceremony started shortly after Micheal and Danielle arrived.

The bride and groom exchanging their vows

It was a simple, yet solemn ceremony with the officiating officer sharing with the bride and groom some beautiful thoughts and advice which she wrote herself  for a happy marriage.

The Happy Couple !

 It was always touching to witness the union of two people in love.

Families were present to witness the ceremony

It was a joyful moment for family members who witnessed and shared in the new couple's happiness and commitment to each other.

The new couple & relatives

After the civic ceremony, the new couple stopped by the High Park to take pictures for a few minutes but it was chilly!


Since Micheal's background is Chinese Canadian, both he and Danielle  wanted to follow and perform the Chinese traditional Tea Ceremony.

Micheal's aunt was kind enough to offer her house where the tea ceremony took place.

Grandma Lui receiving her tea at the Tea Ceremony

The Tea Ceremony is a time honoured Chines tradition where the senior family and extended family members of both the bride's and groom's sides are invited to participate.

Family members officially welcome the new couple into their respective side of the family.

The bride's uncle also took part in the tea Ceremony

Starting from the groom's side of  the family, the oldest member of the family was served tea first by both the bride and groom.

Grandpa McClaren receiving his tea & shared his wisdom

After drinking the tea, the family member gave the bride and groom each a gift - a piece of jewelry, or a red pocket envelop. 

If there is a piece of family heirloom to be passed down to the next generation, this would be a good time to do it in front of family members.
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Words of marital advice can also be shared at the tea Ceremony.











Though not of Chinese decent,  Danielle's side of the family also took part and Grandpa McClaren seemed to enjoy the private moments spent with the new couple, sharing with them his words of marital wisdom.

Wendy & Mom beside her  spectacular creation

Every senior family members of the bride and groom drank the tea that was offered to them by the new couple; in turn they welcome them into the family by offering them their personal congratulations and a gift, either a piece of jewelry or a red lucky envelop.

Danielle;s side of the family really appreciated and enjoyed the experience!

Er. flew from S.F. to attend his cousin's wedding

The families spent sometime  enjoying some light refreshments and had an opportunity to socialize a bit before heading to the Diamond Restaurant in Richmond Hill for a traditional Chinese wedding banquet.

Many friends and relatives were at the wedding celebration. Er.,  Micheal's cousin, made a special trip from San Fransisco to fly back and attend the wedding banquet.

Cutting the Wedding Cake

Wendy, Micheal's cousin, made a beautiful cake for the wedding reception.

 It was a huge cake with four layers decorated with  intricate purple icing flowers.

Crispy roasted chicken

 The wedding banquet was a gourmet feast with at least eight different main dishes consisted of a meat tray appetizers, followed by  seafood, chicken, lobsters, scallops, freshly steamed fish, fried rice, noodles and desserts.

Crab balls served with vegetable decorations made with carrots

 The banquet was enjoyed by guests over a 2-3 hour period.

Shrimps & snow peas with taro & carrot towers

We really enjoyed the food at this restaurant. The food was delicious and the presentations of the dishes were creative, colourful and appetizing!

Dancing the night away after dinner

Not only did the guest enjoy a sumptuous dinner, there was dancing afterwards after the almost three hour banquet.







A great wedding celebrations indeed!

May God bless Micheal and Danielle as they start a new life together as a married couple!

R.T.
Toronto

Getting Ready to Start a New Chapter in Korea

J. and dad

We cannot believe it! Our younger son is going to be working and living in Korea for the next twelve months, at least!

We praise God for His boundless mercy and grace for listening to our prayers, answering them and opening doors for our two sons. After applying for a job in Korea a couple of months ago, J. has landed a job in Korea doing what he does the best- teaching!

It has been an exciting past couple of weeks watching our son preparing everything for  his departure to a new country in the far east. He got everything done in time including finding new tenants.and subletting his apartment downtown.

Yesterday, Rosie was kind and she called; she asked to take Jo. out for lunch and wish him well.  She took us to the Mottofuku downtown and tried the delicious fusion food. Rosie even gave Jo. some words of wisdom sharing her secret of success - good people relations skills.

Rose drove me home and helped  finish decorating the guest bedroom. We put up the border wall paper to finish the wall paper making the room look really welcoming in preparation for Er.'s coming home this Saturday. She remained in our house even though we left to help J. move.

J. And his cousin at the family dinner

J. rented a U-Haul van and we managed to move everything in three hours. Good thing I  could help to clean up the place a bit before the new girl came in for her key. By the time we unloaded everything into the garage, it was well past 11p.m.

On Wednesday, we hosted a dinner for my mom, Wayne, his girl friend, Margaret and Douglas. Mom and W gave J the red  pocket and wished him good luck. It was a very nice dinner with the family.

A Family dinner to send J. off to Korea

I treasured the time I spent with J. on Tuesday night when he slept over and again on Wednesday evening when he was finishing his packing.

This were the rare moments when a mother and son could spend time together and talked.  A few days before, I started crying thinking about our younger son leaving home and will be on his own completely in a new country. I was worried.

We even managed to Skpe Er. and chatted with him a bit. He looked good and seemed happy at his new job.  J. got everything done and we drove him to the airport at 3 a,m, getting there plenty of time ahead. Before we got out of our car, he even asked me to pray for him!  I could not remember the last time when he asked for our prayers. After getting his boarding pass, we all sat down for a snack and my husband spent a few minutes sharing the story of Jacob from Genesis with J. to encourage him. It was a memorable moment!

We saw him off at the America Customs, before he went in, J. told us he loved us and thanked us for helping him to get everything done. It really showed how much he appreciated us.

Our darling son, May God bless you and use you to glorify his name in Korea!

Mom
Toronto
p.s. As we drove home, I felt a great sense of peace. I did not feel sad or worried at all as I know God will protect our son in Korea and give him the best!

Parenting Strategies - Taste Your Own Medicine

Parenting Strategies  – Taste Your  Own Medicine

Another incident happened with the same mother and the same child mentioned in my previous blog; the son was around 6-7 years old at the time.

One day the mother picked up the son from school. The son made a request to the mother for something, the mother said no. The son was not very happy in the car, complaining and asking the mother for something. The mother said no.

As soon as they got inside their own house, the son threw his clothes, his school bag and everything on the floor.  He  laid down on the floor, started screaming and yelling, kicking his arm and feet, throwing a temper tantrum.

This mother,  reacting to the son’s temper tantrum, also threw her jacket and her handbag on the floor. She then lay on the floor spread eagle beside her son, screaming and yelling exactly like him and did it as long as he was doing it!

The son was so surprised by what the mother was doing. He sat up and looked at his mom who was screaming,  kicking her feet exactly like what he was doing. His mother did not scream at him, nor yell or scold him. She was just mirroring exactly the same thing as he did.

The son did not expect his mother copying his actions. He stopped his temper tantrum, sat up and looked at his mom.  

Son: Mom, why are you doing this?

Mom: Doing exactly what you are doing. Whatever you do, I can do too!

The son looked at the mother’s actions and thought she looked silly and stopped his temper tantrum. He also learned that whenever he throwed a tantrum, his mom would do.

Tasting Your Own Medicine – Without fighting with her son, without beating and arguing with her children, this mother used wisdom, and humor to teach her children.

We can try that too!

Do not be angry, do not nag and repeat our children all the time because they would not listen. They would tune us out.

On the other hand, we also need to teach our children  that they cannot always get what they want by throwing temper tantrums. Do not reinforce them and reward them  when they are behaving badly.

If they scream and kick and we give what they want, they will learn that this is the way to get things for them. Reward them when they are behaving well, i.e, when they are sitting nicely doing their work, pat them on the back, praise them. 

Do not ignore your children when they are quiet and behaving properly. Praise them, give them a big hug when they are doing something you want them to do, such as performing their routine and chores and getting ready for bedtime by themselves, helping you or helping their brother and sister. 

When you let them know that you are happy and proud of them  while they are doing well, they will want that praise and keep doing well.

R.T.

Radio AM 1430 

April 24, 2014

Toronto

 
 

Radio A.M. 1430 Parenting Strategies - Tough Love

I  am a regular guest commentator on educational issues in Toronto's AM radio 1430.
I have been on the radio for the past few years and in this week's show, one of the audiences called in asking me specially about my notes on the show. At my audiences' request, here are the notes for this week's radio show. Please feel free to comment and ask me questions.


Besides reading books, magazines and website articles on parenting and teaching kids, I also enjoy attending workshop, community lectures on how to teach kids.  I have observed and learned from parents at my schools, friends who have raised very good kids, and have excellent relationship with them. I  asked and learned from their success stories and strategies. I have learned  so many things from other parents. I would like to share with you today:

Parenting Strategies - TOUGH LOVE

Mary- a wonderful mother who has raised two great kids – a daughter who is an eye specialist and a younger son who works in the finance business.  

To me doing well is not just having a good job and making lots of money.

Her two grown children are doing well; they are well educated,  independent, confident, polite, responsible, respectful , helpful, cooperative, well adjusted, all around and caring individuals.

This mother was a professional career woman who held a senior position with a well known company in Toronto. But as soon as her first child was born, she gave up her well paying full time job, stayed home and raised her two children. She sacrificed her career and devoted her time to the family. 

When the children were young,  the daughter was polite, cooperative, listened to instructions, did not get into a lot of trouble.However, the son was smart but a little naughty, a normal mischievous and energetic child.

Often, young children ( 4-8  years old ) need encouragement to be on time for school, performing their routine such as brush teeth, going to bed etc.  They sometimes forget their home work or books at home.

This young boy was around Grade Two and he forgot his books a couple of times . This time, his mother had reminded him to pack his things the night before, but he did not listen.

The next day, the mother drove the boy to school. At the school front door, the child discovered that he forgot his homework at home. He asked his mother to drive home to get it for him because this teacher was a very mean one. 

But the mother told her son calmly:

“ Sorry, son, I cannot do that. You need to be responsible and do things for yourself.  I reminded you last night to have everything ready for school, but you did not do it.“

Son : “ Mom, this is a very mean teacher. If I don’t hand in my project today, he would punish me. He would give me a detention and my friend would laugh at me!”  The son begged his mother. 

Very calmly, without screaming  or raising her voice, this Mom said:

 “ Son,  I am sorry. I love you, therefore I cannot do things for you all the time.  You need to learn that there are consequences of our actions in life. Whatever we do, there is a consequence.  When we do the right thing, there is good result. But when we do something not quite right, there will be bad consequences.  We need to be responsible and we have to face the consequences. If your teacher punishes you because your forgot your project, then you have to face it. “

Even though this grade two boy begged her mother, threw a temper tantrum, and cried in the car, the mother would not budge. She sent him to school without giving in to her son’s demand.

Off course, the son came home, not very happy because the teacher punished him, gave him a detention. Therefore, he could not go outside and play with his friends during recess. He was also embarrassed in front of his friends. 

But he learned his lesson and from that time on, he made sure he had everything for school every night.

The Tough Love strategy is not easy for many parents.  We all love our  children and want the best for them. Our natural inclination is to help them  when they are in need or in trouble.  But as parents, sometimes, we need to be hands off  in certain situations.

Do not do everything for our children, and bail them out of trouble every time especially when they are in elementary school. The troubles which they’ll  get into when young are small; let them experience failure and face up to the consequences of their actions so that they can learn early in life.

If we keep doing everything for them and helping them to avoid trouble, they will never learn. In the future, when they will face big problem, can parents continue to bail them out? 

For example, a little while ago, a young man got into a car accident and hit a pedestrain in China. Instead of trying to face up to his mistake, he called his mother to help him. His mother arrived on scene,  made some phone calls to some important people and got his son off the hook because his father was a senior official. The entire episode was captured by someone who posted it on line.

People in China learned about this young man getting away unpunished in this accident due to his parents' corrupted actions.  They became very angry,  demonstrated and protested against this injustice.  Eventually, the father had to appear on national TV and apologize for his actions.  

I am sure this young man never to face his own actions when he was young and his parents bailed him out of trouble after he made a mistake.

Be a Tough Love parents - We  don't need to overprotect our children. Let  children face the consequences of their mistakes early and take responsibility of their actions.

R.T.
AM Radio 1430
Markham, Ontario

Somehwere over the Rainbow, Niagara Falls

After the Friday service, we drove to Niagara Falls with my brother and his girl friend. We spent a couple of days at this world famous wonder.

Though I have been at Niagara Falls numerous times, the majestic beauty of the falls takes my breath away every time.

Niagara Falls, Ontario, Canada

There are two falls at Niagara Falls. The bridge in this picture is called the Rainbow Bridge connecting Niagara Falls, Canada to Niagara Falls, U.S.A. The Falls on the left is the American Fall and the Fall on the right is the Canadian Fall shaped like a horseshoe.

The Spectacular Canadian Falls Shaped like a  Horseshoe

 The view of the falls are spectacular on the Canadian side, consequently most tourists come to Canada to visit Niagara Falls.

A Rainbow Over the Canadian Niagara Horseshoe Fall

 After we visited the Butterfly Conservatory, we went to view the falls.  There was a huge rainbow!  How lucky were we and what a nice way to end our visit to this world famous natural wonder!

Night View of the City of  Niagara Falls, Canadian Side

Though, my mom is 87 years old, she did well on this trip!

She was able to walk with us to all the attractions and seemed to have enjoyed this trip.

Niagara Falls - a great place to get away for the weekend!

We stayed in a suite at the Fallsview Hilton this time and mom and Xiao really enjoyed the buffet breakfast at the Watermark Restaurant overlooking the falls.

Seeing mom, W. and his girl friend having a great time on this trip made my husband and me very happy!



R.T.
Niagara Falls
Ontario

The Butterfly Conservatory, Niagara Falls, Ontario

Butterfly Conservatory, Niagara Falls, Canada

After a long Canadian winter, we just love to get outdoors!

Tropical Plants are abundant inside the Butterfly Conservatory

At the first possible opportunity, we took off and spent a weekend away in the Niagara region.

There are over 2500 butterflies in the Conservatory

We have been at the Niagara region before, but this time we took some friends with us and visited a number of attractions.

After purchasing our tickets online for $19.99.00 per adult, we were given access to visit three attractions plus two days of unlimited travel on the Niagara tour bus enabling us to hop on and off without worrying about finding parking for our vehicle.

Of the three attractions we visited, I really enjoyed the Butterfly Conservatory.















The Butterfly Conservatory is located in the city of Niagara Falls on the Canadian side.

 It opens year round in a tropical setting with lush trees and plants.

There are over 2500 butterflies in the Conservatory. As soon as we entered the building, we were greeted with colourflies flying freely around us, above and everywhere near us.









We were able to look at some of the butterflies very closely as they were feeding on plates of cut fruits set out for them.








There were displays explaining the process of metamorphosis including the Emergence Chamber which provide a warm and humid environment for the proper development of the butterfly.

An Emergency Chamber

A Butterfly Emerges Within the Emergency Chamber

While most butterflies emerge perfectly, some may not. Improper emergence can be a result of poor nutrition or unfavorable environment conditions experienced as a caterpillar.

A Poisonous Frog

There was also a display of small reptiles and other exotic small animals such as this poisonous frog.















R.T.
Butterfly Conservatory,
Niagara Falls, Ontario

God's Way is Higher than Our Way!

Friday, January 17, 2014

I went to my Zumba class at Victoria Terrace and had a really good work out there. This was the first time I went to a Friday evening class and there was a new instructor named Michael.

Michael is a fantastic Zumba instructor! I think he must have been a dancer all his life because his movements were fluid, and graceful while his Zumba exercise class routines were more like carefully choreographed dance presentations. I just loved the class and sweated a lot there.

It was around 1a.m. when I was about to wrap up my activities and get ready for bed. I got a text from E.. but I could not open it, therefore, I texted him and asked if he sent me a message to which he asked if he could call me. E.. then called me and asked if we could postpone or change our pending trip to S.F.  I asked him why and he told me: " I have been laid off today by my company."

It was so shocking for me; I could imagine how shocking that was for him!  How could it be? He just moved across states from New York to California. His company, having spent thousands of dollars to move him, sending him to Japan for training. He found an apartment,  a room mate, furnished it and  just settled in. How unfair and unfortunate this was for him - an educated, ethical,  hardworking individual with the skills, competency and integrity to  always carry out his responsibilities to the fullest and to the best of his abilities.

I was very sad for him. I could not find the words to describe how sad I felt for my first born.
Everything seemed to fade away and  a heavy burden has been placed in my heart.

God, I have prayed hard and cried in front of you about this job.This was the job you gave to Er. after my fervent prayers, your answer and gift to my prayers in tears.How could you give your children something and then take it back so quickly - after just 5 months?

I really don't understand what's happening. But God, I want to claim your promises and your faithfulness to  your children and to those who believe in YOU!

I know your ways are higher than mine, God, and your wisdom is far greater than I could understand. But I refuse to curse your name. I just keep trusting in you, your infinite wisdom, your mercy, your love and your protection.

God, please help both E. and Y. in their life journeys and bless them with your blessings and what you think is the best for them. I surrender our two sons to you, Lord!

In Christ's name, I pray.

P.S, I cried and prayed to God to show mercy to Er and help Y to find direction as to what they should do. Y. and I talked a few days later on Jan. 22, the night before we went to Arizona and told me that he decided to go back to teaching!!! Praise God! Y came up with this himself. God, I pray that you please look after him and give him perseverance to follow through his plans!

 A few weeks later, we skped E. one evening. It was funny how he just let us talk and told him a Chinese story regarding horses and tigers. He waited till the very end to tell us that he got two job offers, one in S.F. and another one in Calgary/ Praise God! For answering our prayers!

Er. was home for a little more than two weeks in Toronto until April 10 before he started his new job in S,F. He has not spent that much time at home for a long time. It was great!

 April 7, 2014

Y. was very happy as he got his work visa in Korea! He called Stan and me right away as soon as he got the permit. Praise God for giving him the opportunity to start a new job in a new country! God, please keep him on the right path, help him to build positive relationship at work and in your
 kingdom; help him to do his best and protect him! Amen!