I love my mom! The following was what I shared with family and friends at a celebration of life service a few weeks ago:
My mom was born in China in 1926. Her father came to Canada looking for a
better life in 1918. But due to the Chinese Exclusion Act between 1923 to 1947 Chinese
were forbidden to come to Canada.
If you were lucky enough to land in Canada, a Chinese person
was required by law to pay a HeadTax of $500.00 . How much was $500.00 at the time? You could
buy 2 houses in Vancouver with $500 in the early 19 century.
My mom’s biggest dream was always to come to Canada and be united with her father. Mom’s father tried very hard and paid a lot to lawyers for our many immigration applications .Finally our application was approved in 1971
Unfortunately, luck was not on my mother’s side. Our grandfather died just a few month before we landed in Canada in early 1970's. That was heart breaking news for our mom; her lifelong dream was shattered. My mom’s biggest regret in life was not able to see and get to know her father; not once had she seen her dad.
Due to the long separation for Chinese families under
Canada’s Chinese exclusion act, Mom was the only child. But she was blessed
with many children with our father.
Our whole family immigrated and landed in Thunder Bay in the early 1970's. Thunder Bay’s population
was suddenly increased by a new Chinese's family's arrival. Everybody in town knew that there were more than half of dozen Chinese teens just fresh off the boat from HK.
Though not knowing much English, Mom was determined to find
a job. She started working in a garment factory, and along with our dad supported her big growing family. Our parents lived in Thunder Bay for more than a decade.
Then They bought a house in Toronto. Mom, and Dad and along with my brother moved to Toronto in the early 1980's.
After settling in Toronto, besides being busy with church life, Mom dedicated her time looking after the family and taking care of her grandchildren full time.
From early 1980's to 2008, Our parents lived in Scarborough and she looked after her grandchildren and the house well.
Mom also helped me out a lot when our children were sick.
However, Dad died suddenly in 2008.
In 2011, Mom moved
into a senior's apartment in her own unit. For the first time in her
life, she was living alone. However, my mom was independent, energetic, and hardworking as
ever living a busy life by herself.
I remember many things about my mom, but the following stand out for me:
Mom was smart, hardworking,
and had a lot of perseverance.
My mom didn’t need to tell us to work hard. We worked hard
in school and at work because Mom was the model of a hard worker. It
cost a lot to feed her big fat growing family and a lot of work preparing lunches for half a dozen teenagers daily.
Before we were even
awoke, we could smell bacon, ham and eggs. Mom had to go to work but she was
up early at 6am each morning preparing our lunches. She faithfully packed lunches for us every morning in brown lunch bags with fruit
and drinks.
While my classmates
had peanut butter or cheese sandwiches for lunch, I feel pretty special
because I had fresh ham and egg
sandwiches made with love by my mom.! Looking back, Mom spoiled us with her
delicious lunches made with love every day! I didn't even prepare such good lunches for my own children!
I admire my mother a lot because of how hard she worked and how much she persevered. For many new immigrants, there could be many complaints regarding their new lives in Canada. The language barrier, social and cultural isolation from your own ethnic group and the unforgiving cold weather in Thunder Bay. It is so cold there in the winter that if you forget to plug in your car overnight , your car wouldn’t start the next morning. Life is not easy for many newcomers to Canada. In fact I personally know many new immigrants who could not adjust their new lives in Canada and returned to their homeland.
Our mother was a fighter with a great deal of perseverance. Not once, did my mom ever complain about the conditions in Canada or wanting to move back to HK. She endured all the hardships and challenges because she wanted a better life for each one of her children. We are who we are today because of Mom and we are grateful to her for that.
Besides family life, Mom loved church and the church life. It was in Toronto when my parents started going to church and heard the gospel about Jesus. My mother was the first one to get baptized in a Toronto Christian church.
Mom was a practicing Christian and had attended Sunday Services every Sunday for the past four decades without any interruptions. When COVID hit, it prevented her from going to church but she still attended church online every week.
Not only was our mother a hard working person, she was like a scout master. She was always well prepared and good with details.
She was excellent in cooking and was asked to prepare refreshments for the church meetings. She took this volunteer work seriously. She would prepare weeks in advance for the refreshments. She read cookbooks, talked to her friends, copied down recipes from newspaper and sometimes even called me for some ideas.
With my dad’s help of driving her around to shop, Mom was determined to create and serve the best refreshments to her friends at church.
She even practiced her treats first before preparing them for the church meetings. Her friends all loved the treats she created because she was asked year after year to prepare the refreshments.
Mom took every task seriously. She was asked sometimes to do
opening prayers for her cell group in church. Instead of just mumbling a few
words or following her nose, she would write every word of her prayer
down. I heard her discussing it with my
dad. And later on I found many written prayers kept neatly in her room.
My mom made many friends at church.
In fact she had four very good friends and they pledged to each other that they become sisters and look after each other. They were known as the Four Golden flowers at her church.
That was the happiest I had seen my mother because from having no siblings since birth for the past five decades, she had three good sisters!!! Not only did the four sisters got along very well, so did the four husbands.
They went to church services together, and enjoyed dim sum lunch every week after Sunday Service. They even went on long trips together. Mom could not stop giggling when talking about the four sisters' trip to Canada's East Coast and how they even brought their own min rice cooker and made rice and Chinese sausage on their trip.
My mom was the glue of our big family. All of us grew up, got married and have our own children.
Every Christmas, New Year, and Lunar New year, Mom planned the menus and spent days preparing the big fat family dinner.
She cooked for the whole day and waited for her children and grand children to come and had the family meal together.
It happened for years and sometimes we took this dinner for granted. Mom is gone now and there will be no more big family dinners in my parents' house.
We will miss everything about our big family with Mom.
Most important of all, we will miss our dear beloved mother.
Love from your daughter,
R.T. Toronto
